God Hates Fags

Blah blah blah, we know.

It quite clearly spells it out in that well known 6th chapter of 1st Corinthians.
The one everyone throws at you.
They should keep reading.

1 Corinthians 6:8-10

⁸Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers.

⁹Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders ¹⁰nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

Now correct me if I am wrong, but the bible clearly puts homosexuality

on the same level as people that cheat on their spouses, become alcoholics,

talk shit about others, become alcoholics, thieves, and sluts in just these two

verses from this holy scripture alone.

They also like to throw this one at you:

Leviticus 20:13

¹³ " 'If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.

Genesis 20:16-18

¹⁶ To Sarah he said, "I am giving your brother a thousand shekels ^a]">[a] of silver. This is to cover the offense against you before all who are with you; you are completely vindicated."

¹⁷ Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelech, his wife and his slave girls so they could have children again, ¹⁸ for the LORD had closed up every womb in Abimelech's household because of Abraham's wife Sarah.

Well, I sure am glad God healed Abraham's slave girls.

1 Corinthians 14:34

³⁴women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says.

1 Timothy 2:11-12

¹¹A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹²I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent.

Golly gee!

The bible is not very fair to women now is it?

Leviticus 7:22-23

²²And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,

²³Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, Ye shall eat no manner of fat, of ox, or of sheep, or of goat.

Eating fat is a sin too, all you steak and bacon lovers.

Leviticus 19:27

²⁷ " 'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.

I guess sideburns are supposed to be in forever...

It is really sad to me how many people don't actually read the Bible.

So many Christians have only ever read what they have been told to, and only know

what they have been taught.

For people who know little to nothing about the religion, reading the Bible

would scare them away for sure.

Not only is the book a crazy mess of thousands of stories written by hundreds

of people over years and years, but it has also been twisted by so many

religious fundamentalists to mean what it is they want it to mean.

Much like what was done by those who originally wrote it.

Confrontation && Discrimination

I have never been one for any form of confrontation myself.
People often have rude or nasty things to say to me because
of my look. Usually I just kill them with kindness because that
is the very last thing they would expect.

Majority of the people I meet that are so quick to judge me and
become rude with me end up learning a lot and really enjoying our having met.

There is such a fine line between standing up for one's self and just
being confrontational for confrontations sake when it comes to the rights of minorities.

So often minorities feel as though they are being discriminated against
over the slightest remark. "That's so Gay." "What's up my nigga?"
Blah blah blah.

It get's so very ridiculous sometimes.

It's Painfull (pt.2)

I have learned something very valuable
over the past week.

People have often come to me for advice
on many kinds of life situations, and I have
always though my advice was good.

It was missing something though.
Most specifically my relationship advice.
Never had it really occurred to me that when
a relationship is over it is best to talk about it.
Talk about what it is that makes you hurt, and
why it is you think you feel the way that you
do.

I suppose the reason it had never entered
my mind really before was because
the only thing even close to a relationship
I ever had ended with no a single person
for me to share my feelings with.
I was alone; I had to deal with it that way.

Granted I did always try not to completely
discourage people from speaking their feelings,
but I never encouraged it either.
If they wanted to get over it they should just
put it out of their head as best they can.

Yesterday was a hard day for me.
I can't really explain why. Nothing significant
happened whatsoever.
The only thing that calmed me was talking about
how I felt. I did feel somewhat bad because
I do not like to put my problems on others,
but it is so much better than keeping it in.

I still haven't a clue as to what I should do.
In the middle of the night I woke up having
panic attacks. Terrible thoughts of aging, death,
life falling apart.

I feel a little better now.
I only hope that I will stay that way.



I need strength.

It's Painfull.

I am one of those people that goes around
talking about how love is "not my thing," and
how I don't "do relationships."

Everyone tells me that I do it because I
am afraid of rejection. I can not say
that it's entirely untrue, but at the same time
that's not how I see it.

I think of it like this:
If the stove top is turned on
I know that if I touch it I will have
an unpleasant feeling.
Why would I consciously allow myself
to do something I know will
end in something I do not want
when I can keeps myself from doing so.

I have always known that love is not something you go looking for.
If you go looking for it then you put yourself in a state
of desperation in which any person you meet is a potential "love of your life."

Now, just because you don't go looking for it does not mean
that there still won't be failures.
As with the hot stove, accidents can always happen.
All relationships aren't going to work.

Every time you give your heart to a person
it is going to be painful when something goes wrong.
You should never regret it though.
Never regret anything you wanted at the time.

After a relationship ends people often think, "Oh I just wasted so much of my life on them
for nothing. I may as well have never even met them."

If you had fun while you were together
and enjoyed the time you spent with each other
then that part of your life was not wasted.
You were happy.

My heart hurts inside.
It is an actual physical pain.
I can not eat,
I can not sleep,
I can barely even function.

Never did I expect to be here.
Especially now.

My heart was not even opened up.
Somehow they found the key and ran right in.
Telling me how much they love me,
how badly they want to change to be with me.
All just to take it back.

I have loved this person for quite sometime,
but even though I knew there was a possibility for
something more I never intended to pursue it.

The way they looked at me the very first time they said, "I really do love you,"
was the happiest look I had ever seen on their face.
They were so excited to tell me, and to be with me.
I fell hard and fast.
We were spent almost every waking moment together.

Now it is as though they never said it.
What really gets me is that it happened overnight.
One day, "I really do love you. I'm being serious."
The next day, "I don't do that 'love' bullshit. I'm not a relationship person."

I know that is not true.
We have been close for a while.
We have had these talks.
They very specifically said to me, "I always say how I don't do love, and I don't
want a relationship, but I really do. I think it would be nice. I get lonely sometimes."

If you have read my past blogs then you already know
I have never had sex with anyone ever.
Until now.

May 12, 2009.
I honestly have never had a desire
for losing my virginity. That's why I had never done it.
I do not regret it because I do care very strongly
for this boy.








It hurts inside so very badly.