Halfway through dinner he turned to me, "What are you doing tomorrow?" "Well, I have to help my parents move some, but it shouldn't take all day, why?" He proceeded to inform me that his girlfriend is coming into town (she lives an hour or so away) and wants me to go shopping with them. It still amazes me how this girl I've barely met twice loves me so much. I suppose it shouldn't suprise me, she seems very sweet, but she is dating a gay boy after all. A gay boy that told me how badly he wanted me only three days before he asked her out. What a strange way for things to work out wouldn't you say?
I wish we were better friends than we are now. I feel as though he needs someone to talk to about life. He's a gay boy dating a straight girl who has a terrible case of puppy love. Trust me, except for the puppy love part, I've been there. You seem to think you can change how you are just because you don't want to be that way. When I think back on it I've known I liked boys for as long as I can remember, I just didn't realize it. Of course, it didn't help that my parents sent me to a private christian school for so long. I began to hate myself for how I was. It is true that I was a very happy child, but every time I would have a thought about a boy, or hear them say things about how being gay is such a sin, I would always think about what a terrible person I was, and how GOD must hate me so much.
A good friend of mine just recently divorced her husband because she realized she was a lesbian. We've never talked in depth about the entire thing, but she always mentions how her parents disowned her for so long after she told them why she was divorcing the man she had been married to since highschool. So many people have that fear that their parents will hate them forever because they are gay. It is sometimes suprising which ones are more excepting than others, even their children sometimes don't know how they will react after growing up their whole lives with them. The friend I just mentioned says her parents are only somewhat religious. Another friend of mine, who I've known since the second grade, just recently came out to his family. His dad is a pentecostal preacher and they live behind a church. His mother didn't care whatsoever and told him she had known for years, but his dad, although excepting, wasn't exactly elated with the idea. At one time he even performed an exercisem(sp) on him, which didn't work of course. So now he just lets him be.
Anyway, back to the original subject: this boy. Even if it's not me that he wants, the better his life will be when he realizes and comes to terms with the fact that he likes boys. Of course he and his girlfriend have discussed how he's "just bi," but for those of us that have been there that only proves it even more. There are very few just bi people in the world. I do, for whatever reason, have a strange like for his girlfriend. It's really more her I'm worried about than him. Even though they have only been dating a little over five months she clames she's in love with him. When he finally does realize he can not change who he is one of two things will happen: he will stay with her and run around with boys behind her back, or he will leave her and she will be devistated. I wish I knew how to help them both, but it's not my place.
What to do...?
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