It's Painfull (pt.2)

I have learned something very valuable
over the past week.

People have often come to me for advice
on many kinds of life situations, and I have
always though my advice was good.

It was missing something though.
Most specifically my relationship advice.
Never had it really occurred to me that when
a relationship is over it is best to talk about it.
Talk about what it is that makes you hurt, and
why it is you think you feel the way that you
do.

I suppose the reason it had never entered
my mind really before was because
the only thing even close to a relationship
I ever had ended with no a single person
for me to share my feelings with.
I was alone; I had to deal with it that way.

Granted I did always try not to completely
discourage people from speaking their feelings,
but I never encouraged it either.
If they wanted to get over it they should just
put it out of their head as best they can.

Yesterday was a hard day for me.
I can't really explain why. Nothing significant
happened whatsoever.
The only thing that calmed me was talking about
how I felt. I did feel somewhat bad because
I do not like to put my problems on others,
but it is so much better than keeping it in.

I still haven't a clue as to what I should do.
In the middle of the night I woke up having
panic attacks. Terrible thoughts of aging, death,
life falling apart.

I feel a little better now.
I only hope that I will stay that way.



I need strength.